History - Historia
Here you can see all the history of previous conversations.
Aquí se puede ver todo el historial de conversaciones anteriores.
787656 charliedontsurf : I have a small trashcan fire going in my office this very moment
787658 charliedontsurf : All his love letters over the years are now aflame
787659 Anne Boleyn : Well I have noticed I sometimes get obsessed with that perfection idea
787660 Anne Boleyn : And the idea of abundance
787661 Anne Boleyn : It seems I am afraid of emptiness
787662 charliedontsurf : Welcome to humanity
787663 Anne Boleyn : I have self diagnosed
787664 charliedontsurf : Why would you even entertain the idea that perfection is attainable?
787665 charliedontsurf : And why would you even desire it? It would make life so predictable
787666 AnaB : It's not that
787667 charliedontsurf : Part of the variety of life is accepting life and people as they are, not as perfect beings
787668 AnaB : I mean I don't want to achieve perfection by itself
787669 AnaB : but I am obsessed with my face
787670 charliedontsurf : But feel free to block anyone that makes you feel bad, they're leeches
787671 AnaB : I clean it, wash it, apply lots of cosmetics
787672 charliedontsurf : Yes, I've read your missives on your beauty regimen lol
787673 charliedontsurf : Let me ask you something out of curiosity...
787675 charliedontsurf : What would happen if you went outside tomorrow with just basic attempts of making yourself seem "presentable"
787676 charliedontsurf : Would it matter? Would you die, get embarrassed, be ostracized?
787678 AnaB : No, but I wouldn't feel secure enough to be myself
787679 charliedontsurf : No.....so you see that these are just superficial things that take up too much of your time and energy, keep the things that matter in the foreground
787680 charliedontsurf : "Yourself"
787681 AnaB : I know
787682 AnaB : I am reading quite an interesting book about this stuff
787683 AnaB : and it has made me aware of some things
787684 charliedontsurf : interesting you'd say that...."Yourself" is not your shampoo, your foundation, eyeliner and mascara.....those are almost insignificant to who you are
787685 AnaB : my fear for emptiness
787686 AnaB : I go to my bedroom and it's full of stuff
787687 AnaB : absolutely crowded. Why do I like crowded rooms? Why do I need to be surrounded by material things
787688 AnaB : Material things that I consider beautiful
787689 charliedontsurf : I have that fear too.....but again it's irrational.....emptiness as in not having enough friends, relationships, or do you feel that you are empty, not your situation?
787690 AnaB : I always feel empty
787691 AnaB : Look, I have a job
787692 charliedontsurf : Perhaps they are a fake substitute for what you are talking about
787693 charliedontsurf : Apparently they don't help much and they cost money and now you look like a hoarder
787694 AnaB : I am a teacher and I work as a teacher. I enjoy what I do but I feel a failure because I don't work in a high school
787695 charliedontsurf : Hoarding almost always manifests itself in other ways, as a substitute for something lacking
787696 AnaB : and then I know I am so lucky I have a job. Most of my friends don't or have horrible jobs
787697 charliedontsurf : Dear, you just turned 27, you're not retiring anytime soon
787699 AnaB : I know but it's difficult to get something better here
787700 charliedontsurf : You'll have time to teach older students later
787701 AnaB : and I have also noticed I buy a lot
787702 AnaB : and that's why I am unable to save money
787703 AnaB : it's not about their age. I love teaching teenagers
787704 AnaB : I even enjoy teaching kids. It's about the place
787705 charliedontsurf : Apply yourself and see what happens...and if not, realize that you are providing a service to children at a vulnerable and important time in their lives
787706 AnaB : that's why I love teaching teenagers
787707 AnaB : but I am always feeling I am not good at it
787708 charliedontsurf : Younger children are important too.....they are developing into the adults they'll soon be
787709 AnaB : that I should be better and that's why I want to take English lessons
787710 AnaB : Yes. I don't mind teaching kids
787711 charliedontsurf : And when you take English lessons, you realize you don't learn much because your level is already high.....
787712 AnaB : it's just working in private teaching doesn't seem the same as high school. I
787713 AnaB : yes, that's what happens to me
787714 charliedontsurf : So what's really going on here? Don't you see the faulty and circuitous reasoning?
787715 AnaB : So, it's nothing important but still, I think it's something I need to solve
787716 charliedontsurf : You seem to be setting an unattainable goal, the reason is why?
787717 AnaB : I see it and that's why I want to work with someone
787718 charliedontsurf : Why can't you be happy and proud at what you've achieved at a relatively young age, and pursue further goals along the way instead of beating yourself up emotionally?
787719 AnaB : I am reading about the idea of renounce
787720 charliedontsurf : Most people here find you thoughtful, intelligent and engaging....
787721 AnaB : that's the question
787722 charliedontsurf : Maybe give yourself some credit
787723 charliedontsurf : Instead of constantly raising the bar, maybe take a pause every now and then and give yourself a little pat on the back and then take on a new challenge
787724 AnaB : I don't know how to do that
787725 charliedontsurf : It doesn't have to be done tomorrow or next year, it's a process
787726 AnaB : I know that but I think that's process should be done with a proffessional
787727 AnaB : that*
787728 charliedontsurf : Start liking yourself and stop finding reasons to belittle what you've achieved?
787729 charliedontsurf : You're certainly welcome to go to someone if you feel it will help. I bet you they will say many of the things I've mentioned
787730 AnaB : that's complicated
787731 charliedontsurf : Have you always been hard on yourself?
787732 AnaB : you're a psychologist
787733 charliedontsurf : The crowded room means something
787734 AnaB : oh yes, I have
787735 charliedontsurf : Maybe go through your things and really think about why you bought them, what they bring into your life, how necessary they are to achieve your goals
787736 AnaB : not necessary at all
787737 AnaB : but it's stuff I like
787738 charliedontsurf : Can you do without many of them? They would unclutter your room,give you a feeling of control by deciding what stays and what goes, you'd have more money
787739 AnaB : Let me give you an example
787740 AnaB : I have three porcelain teapots
787742 AnaB : of Henry VIII and the wives
787743 charliedontsurf : of course lol
787744 AnaB : I have lots of Tudor stuff
787745 AnaB : I collect that sort of things
787746 charliedontsurf : But you enjoy that history
787747 AnaB : dolls, teapots, thimbles
787748 AnaB : oh I do
787749 AnaB : I have spent a lot of money in having that huge collection
787750 AnaB : what for?
787751 charliedontsurf : The question is....are you spending more on "what you like" than you should? What are you getting out of it?
787752 AnaB : I like looking at it and it makes me feel good because I own all those beautiful
787753 AnaB : absolutely I spend a lot of money buying things I like
787754 AnaB : I should show you a picture of my whole stuff collection
787755 charliedontsurf : I like to collect too, but I'm starting to thin things out. If they are not being used, I'm selling them to recoup some of the original expense and uncluttering the house. This makes me feel more in control and not being controlled
787756 charliedontsurf : That, perhaps, could be an esteem builder?
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